Birthday and the Flu
Well my birthday was March 2nd. It was good. The whole weekend was just things I wanted to do, which was mostly watching new movies in the theater. I love movie going.
But then I got the flu. My life sucked so bad for the week. I couldn't do anything and just slept on my broken, shitty couch for like 4 days. That check is going to be so bad.
Now I am recovering and my friend is having me watch her child, but I am realizing without a reprieve I don't want to do it. I want to be there and help, but I did not want children in the first place and now with my own sleep issues, I wake all the time, afraid the kid is having issues or that I need to help him. The biggest problem is that helping him is not one thing, it's 4-5 things immediately after each other. I can do it. I don't want to.
Nothing do to with my friend, her child, but I just am not meant for it. I want to be able to use my time sleeping or doing my projects. I like projects. I feel like shit that she is considering finding someone to pay to watch her child. I really don't want her to have to do that, but her family can't help her and I am not the person that can either. I can do it, but my lack of wanting to, prevents me from enjoying it, I don't. I just want to sleep or do things.
Ugh. I suck and my life sucks and I really need to try to get on disability.
But then I got the flu. My life sucked so bad for the week. I couldn't do anything and just slept on my broken, shitty couch for like 4 days. That check is going to be so bad.
Now I am recovering and my friend is having me watch her child, but I am realizing without a reprieve I don't want to do it. I want to be there and help, but I did not want children in the first place and now with my own sleep issues, I wake all the time, afraid the kid is having issues or that I need to help him. The biggest problem is that helping him is not one thing, it's 4-5 things immediately after each other. I can do it. I don't want to.
Nothing do to with my friend, her child, but I just am not meant for it. I want to be able to use my time sleeping or doing my projects. I like projects. I feel like shit that she is considering finding someone to pay to watch her child. I really don't want her to have to do that, but her family can't help her and I am not the person that can either. I can do it, but my lack of wanting to, prevents me from enjoying it, I don't. I just want to sleep or do things.
Ugh. I suck and my life sucks and I really need to try to get on disability.
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